What I Am

I sit,
I listen,
And I hope,
That they will stop their bickering.
Their yelling;
Their screaming;
Is driving me insane.
It's times like these that I wish that I wasn't here.
Times I wish I was all alone.
In the dark;
In the deep cold earth,
Where all life began--
And ends.
This is where I will lie for all eternity.
Forever and ever.

But I guess I can't
For if I was gone,
Where would everyone go,
For advice,
For an open heart,
But most of all,
For someone to talk to.

But where do I go to talk?
Who can I talk to?
To sit,
To speak,
And get an open mind--
And heart?
Everyone thinks I am so strong,
So hard,
So tough.
But I'm not.
I have problems too.
More than anyone could ever imagine.
But no one cares to listen
To a worthless thing like me.

So I just sit,
And listen,
And hope,
That it will all be over soon.
So I can finally rest,
In my eternal solitude.
Nothing to worry about,
No one to turn to,
And no one to love,
Forever and ever.


But in reality that is all I need.
Someone to love.
I tried it once, but he hurt me even more.
So I decided to quit trying,
An impossibility.
For who could love
What I am?

Forget my needs and wants,
Forget who I really am,
And pretend to be someone I'm not.
A person everyone thinks they know so well.
But I guess they should,
For they are the ones who created him.

Built him from scratch,
To do their bidding,
To be there for them always.
To sit,
To listen,
And to hope that they will come out of it all right.

But I already know they will.
They will grow into the best people
This world has ever known.
Better than Einstein,
Greater than De Vinci,
More superb than even Aristotle.
While I sit in my desolate sanctuary,
All alone,
All by myself,
To sit back and watch their glory.

But for now,
I'll just sit,
And listen,
And hope,
That they will be okay.
But I don't know if I will.
So I'll just live my life the best I can,
And hope that I will come out of it all right.

But when I don't,
I'll just sit,
And cry,
Because no one will be there for me to talk to.

But, now I must go,
To sit,
To listen,
And to hope,
That it will all be over soon.
So I can finally be alone.