Was thinking a lot today about the difference between the tangables and the intangables again today, and what things am I really looking to change to make my life "better". Now, just to clarify, I realize that my life isn't half as bad as some people out there. I have roof over my head (for now at least...), I have all my limbs and senses intact and functioning, my hair...FLAWLESS! But y'all know that there are things that only you can see about yourself that you want to "fix". These are mine:
- Procrastination: I'm always leaving things till the last minute. Even PAST that in some circumstances! Although I know well in advance when things are to be done... I wait.
- Cycle of self-destruction: It seems as though I'm perpetually doing things to fuck up my life knowingly. It's that age-old thing of the dilemma and two paths down a shadowy lane (you know what I'm talking about...), and I ALWAYS seem to choose the one that was wrong.
- Shyness: Yes, I am horribly shy when I meet new people. Strange, I know, mostly because people consider me very out-going ONCE they get to know me. Even worse than that, my shyness usually takes the form of snobbery (for some reason) so anyone new I meet thinks I think that I'm better than them. But it's only true most of the time...
- Bitchiness: Well, Okay I'm a bitch. I can deal with that.
- Insecurity: Who DOESN'T have these? But I just got to learn to get over mine.
- Body Dis-morphism: No matter how much weight I loose, no matter how much I work out... I'll ALWAYS think I'm too fat. It's like me and Tracy Gold are Anorexia BFF's
Oh... I'm sure I'll think of more tomorrow!
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