Covetous

Dreams...
Fading.
Dissipating into a vast nothingness.
All my aspirations
Are now gone since I can acknowledge
The horrifying truth.

I am,
For the first time,
Totally and utterly alone.
No one sees who I really am,
No one cares who the person inside is.
They do not notice that I long for someone else,
And as sanctuary, I find love for others
Who do not need it
Nearly as much as I do.

But they,
The gifted and lucky,
Stand joyous in front of me,
Laughing, touching, falling...
Into the realm which is known as love.

But they,
The hopeful and wondrous,
Seem blindly oblivious to the fact
That all I ever needed,
All my heart desires,
Is what I lack,

And they have.

The Sun

I stand all by myself,
But I am not still.
I am spinning.
And there are many others,
They too spin,
But not as I do.
They are all around me,
Covering me as if a blanket.
All off in the distance,
But still there.

Amidst us all,
There lies a light,
A beacon of hope,
A ball of fire.
She does not spin;
She dances.
We all revolve around her
For she is the center of the universe,
To all that know her.
But she doesn't conceive this.
When she leaves us one day,
(It is inevitable)
Our lives will whither and crumble away.
Leaving us no light,
No beacon of hope,
No fire in our lives.

Our lives will mean nothing,
Coldness will invade,
Our once warm lives.
In our hearts,
The empty void,
Never to be filled again,
Will leave us in darkness.

I am the Earth
They are The Stars
She is The Sun

Wishes

The times which seem in the past, imperfect,
Hold ever-lasting memories in retrospect.
Things appearing to be minor trivialities,
Turn out to have major impact on our pseudo-immortality.

Our lives seem to last forever to us,
But when things happen horrifically,
We only then realize our lives are not our own.
They are in fact, in the hands of fate.

This is only learned when it is too late.

Life can be snuffed out as if a candle.
A once brightly glowing soul,
Is cast away into the darkness,
All too easily forgotten.

They are no more.
They no longer experience.
No longer do they laugh or cry,
Feel anger or sorrow.
They belong nowhere.
They are the lucky ones.

The rest of our mortal companions,
Learn to live without them.
Care only for their fate.
They are forgetful of our lost ones.

The disillusionment of our intricate reality crashes down.

What we once labelled reality is no more.
It is shattered and strewn across the floor.
Leaving us in disarray and confusion.
To pick up the pieces and put it back together.
No longer do we belong anywhere,
For there is nowhere to belong to.

Darkness surrounds us in a world where we must create light,
From the hopes and dreams of us mortals.
We must create what we want reality to be.
A place to belong to.

So, we wish...

What I Am

I sit,
I listen,
And I hope,
That they will stop their bickering.
Their yelling;
Their screaming;
Is driving me insane.
It's times like these that I wish that I wasn't here.
Times I wish I was all alone.
In the dark;
In the deep cold earth,
Where all life began--
And ends.
This is where I will lie for all eternity.
Forever and ever.

But I guess I can't
For if I was gone,
Where would everyone go,
For advice,
For an open heart,
But most of all,
For someone to talk to.

But where do I go to talk?
Who can I talk to?
To sit,
To speak,
And get an open mind--
And heart?
Everyone thinks I am so strong,
So hard,
So tough.
But I'm not.
I have problems too.
More than anyone could ever imagine.
But no one cares to listen
To a worthless thing like me.

So I just sit,
And listen,
And hope,
That it will all be over soon.
So I can finally rest,
In my eternal solitude.
Nothing to worry about,
No one to turn to,
And no one to love,
Forever and ever.


But in reality that is all I need.
Someone to love.
I tried it once, but he hurt me even more.
So I decided to quit trying,
An impossibility.
For who could love
What I am?

Forget my needs and wants,
Forget who I really am,
And pretend to be someone I'm not.
A person everyone thinks they know so well.
But I guess they should,
For they are the ones who created him.

Built him from scratch,
To do their bidding,
To be there for them always.
To sit,
To listen,
And to hope that they will come out of it all right.

But I already know they will.
They will grow into the best people
This world has ever known.
Better than Einstein,
Greater than De Vinci,
More superb than even Aristotle.
While I sit in my desolate sanctuary,
All alone,
All by myself,
To sit back and watch their glory.

But for now,
I'll just sit,
And listen,
And hope,
That they will be okay.
But I don't know if I will.
So I'll just live my life the best I can,
And hope that I will come out of it all right.

But when I don't,
I'll just sit,
And cry,
Because no one will be there for me to talk to.

But, now I must go,
To sit,
To listen,
And to hope,
That it will all be over soon.
So I can finally be alone.